Monday, 20 September 2010

Bad Dates Pt1 Lies and Xrated Texts

Its late and i sit here reminiscing, after hearing about a guy i once went on a date with being spotted at my work! Don't get me wrong its not like he was anything more than just a date, i have no feelings of romance or lust towards him!

I will start from the beginning shall i, his name is Ricki i met him through a work colleague, i thought he seemed ok he liked to joke around. The next time he came through work he complimented me and asked me out, i was taken a back at first cause usually i can tell if a guy is feeling me but with him i couldn't! After a few umms and ahhhs i decided what the hell good looking Cuban guy (eyebrows a little dodgy though, and still working out if he used fake tan or if that was a natural glow!) who's a personal trainer i thought the least maybe i can get some free classes from him!

We met went to a restaurant in Canary Wharf he told me he grew up in Miami and had been here for about 3 years (hence the accent i could never place) then he told me he hadn't had a girlfriend in the 3 years he had been in London! Now i can smell bullshit a mile away and the stench was so strong it was making my eyes water! I gave him that "are you serious!" look and he still had the nerve to lie, now just to make sure we were on the same page here i had to clarify if he meant he had not even had sex because its possible to not have a girlfriend but no sex for 3yrs! well he is a  hot blooded male after all! Well we were on the same page and he claimed not to have any sexual relationships! I didn't call him out on it, i said to myself if he feels the need to lie and play games then so be it i will play along! After dinner we went for a walk chatted a little more it was nice besides the bullshit he didn't once try and invade my personal space which is always good. He walked me to the station, said goodnight and i gave him a peck on the lips.

Now if this guy was gonna get a second date i said to myself we can't start on a lie i need information! so i went to my colleague and without seeming suspicious i asked in a matter of fact kinda way " your friend Ricki, whats he like, does he have a girlfriend?" etc. Surprise surprise i found out that he used to live with his girlfriend but they weren't together anymore! Now i was informed i didn't wanna just confront him straight away so i bit my tongue and when he called i just said i was fine and all the other pleasantries. That was soo hard to do, i am known not to hold my tongue when i should!

Early hours one morning he texts me (he's lucky i was at work cause it was 4:30am)
Him: how are you
Me-fine, why are you up so late?
Him- i just woke up, had a dream about you. how comes your up?
Me- i just got in work
Him-that's early. so do you wanna know about the dream i had?
Me-Ok tell me
Him-First i push you up against the wall, i spread your pink pussy lick your arse, i ravage your arse with my dick then i fuck you in your pussy and when you come i drink it. so what do you think?
Me- um i don't know about all the arse stuff
Him-trust me you will like it
Me-i don't think so, i got to get back to work, its getting busy!
Him-ok speak to you later
Well i was so horrified i was lost for words! (yes me lost for words!)  it all sounded like a nightmare to me, i pictured myself cowering in the corner in a fetus position silently crying! He just thought it was sexy! lol FREAK!

The next time he called me he wanted to arrange our second date, he tried to sweet talk me and wanted me to think that he was serious about me after a first date (I'm thinking he needs to chill its not that serious!) so of course me and my big mouth let him know that i knew he had a serious girlfriend! He was stupid to ask me who i had been talking to and when he put 2 and 2 together i am pleased to say he could count! He accused me of chatting about him and i just laughed and asked him what did he expect we know the same people, of course i would ask about him! he was pissed at me so we hung up! i still don't get why he felt he had to lie about something a trivial as having sex, if he lied about the small things the lord only knows what secrets he had! Besides he was a freak anyway and i don't get down like that! Lucky escape i say!

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