What I love most about the new year is how it invokes change, so since we all survived the "end of the world" lets make those changes we didn't get round to in 2012.
I have never been big on resolutions mainly because I never stick to it, but there is something about 2013 that is stirring feelings of change inside me. Have you ever had an honest conversation with yourself about yourself? Try it, sometimes it can be very educational and other times it can hurt, but the truth always does.
I love the blog world, I love how blogs inspire me, and help me to feel good about myself when society makes me feel the opposite daily. That was one of the reasons I started this blog, I wanted to be a part of it all. Admittedly I am a lazy blogger (hangs head in shame) but I have a bad relationship with camera's. I hate taking pictures of myself. I am that girl in the group that is never satisfied with the shot, the girl who moans about being photographed without my consent, the girl who threatens people if they put my photo on Facebook (YES, no lie!)
So during this deep conversation with myself I realised I don't love myself enough. I shy away from the camera because I hate what I see when I look at the pictures. I so wanted to be like girls in the blogs I follow, loving themselves no matter what their body mass, giving the middle finger to society and shouting fat girls rock. Don't get me wrong these same ladies still and always will inspire me and yes I believe girls rock no matter what size you are! But when it comes to me its a different story.
I am 30 years old and I don't feel happy within myself. I feel at this point in my life I should be loving myself and enjoying life to the fullest.
Some changes need to be made. The biggest change being my health! I need to feel healthy, I need to be a lot fitter. My change for 2013 is my diet.
As from tomorrow I am starting my 3 week detox to cleanse my system and then its healthy eating and exercise. You will see a big change in the content of this blog from now on, yes you will get an odd outfit post but mainly they will be more diary like, documenting my progress and struggles.
Don't get it twisted I am not trying to lose weight to fit society's view of acceptable, I am doing this for ME, to feel better within myself! If I can't love myself, I can't expect anyone to do it for me.
So if this doesn't sound like something that interests you then I say thank you for reading and being a part of my world, no bad feeling! If you decide to stick around then great! I would love it if you did! I still accept words of encouragement lol
I apologise for this post but I didn't wanna make all these changes without saying anything. 2013 is about being honest, so expect a lot of it!!
Wishing all of my readers a great 2013, may all your dreams come true! Thanks for sticking with my sometimes non-existent blog! XOXO
I really appreciate this post and the honesty with which you have spoken in it.
ReplyDeleteI appreciate to come across a blogger that hasn't quite figured out this whole being fat and fabulous issue. I feel like you feel/felt to a certain extant, there are parts of my body that I have not made peace with, so much so that sometimes these parts dictate to me what I should and should not wear, what I can and cannot wear and what I can and cannot feel about myself.
I'm a fellow blogger and for a while blogging helped me on the path of peace but lately I'm back to the self critical point where I cannot for the life of me understand why some parts of my body will not cooperate with me.
Complete self love is a process, firstly you need to get everyone else out of your head and then start believing the good things you say to yourself about yourself.