The Scales Don't Lie

So in preparation for my detox I had to dust off the scales and do a weigh in.  Let me tell you, me and the scales are not friends! When I looked down at the numbers it was like everything started going in slow motion, I will reveal the numbers to you as I said before its all about honesty in 2013.
So as I took in the results it occurred to me this is the biggest I have been in my life! 18st10lbs, sad times lol
Anyway I wasn't so depressed about the number as I know I am taking the right steps to achieve the results I want.

Its day 3 of my 21 day detox (my detox is a vegan one, and no white starchy foods and sugar) Its been good eating so many fruit and vegetables, I do miss my chicken. The hardest thing to swallow is water! I absolutely hate it.  Getting 10 a day means regular trips to the toilet which is a good thing.
Going to events during this time is a NO NO! Being around things you want to eat and drink is torture and I think I wouldn't be nice to be around either. I have yet to have the sugar shakes but I know they will come soon!

I am so conscious of what I can and can not eat that I am having nightmares lol Last night I dreamt that I was waiting for a friend for hours, I was hungry and I had a fat breakfast with pancakes and bacon, you know all that good stuff, then I meet up with this friend and its getting late and once again I am hungry, so we spot a Chinese take away and I order some fried rice which I start scoffing down and then all of a sudden I scream and I say "shit! I forgot I was on a detox" I wake up at this point thinking this dream is real and feeling sick to my stomach that I had sabotaged myself, then after about 3 mins I realise it was all a dream!  I thought to myself damn girl you got issues!

Time For Change In 2013

Hello everyone, Happy New Year! I can't believe 2012 is a thing of the past already! As the saying goes time waits for no one!

What I love most about the new year is how it invokes change, so since we all survived the "end of the world" lets make those changes we didn't get round to in 2012.
I have never been big on resolutions mainly because I never stick to it, but there is something about 2013 that is stirring feelings of change inside me. Have you ever had an honest conversation with yourself about yourself? Try it, sometimes it can be very educational and other times it can hurt, but the truth always does.

I love the blog world, I love how blogs inspire me, and help me to feel good about myself when society makes me feel the opposite daily.  That was one of the reasons I started this blog, I wanted to be a part of it all. Admittedly I am a lazy blogger (hangs head in shame) but I have a bad relationship with camera's.  I hate taking pictures of myself.  I am that girl in the group that is never satisfied with the shot, the girl who moans about being photographed without my consent, the girl who threatens people if they put my photo on Facebook (YES, no lie!)

So during this deep conversation with myself I realised I don't love myself enough.  I shy away from the camera because I hate what I see when I look at the pictures.  I so wanted to be like girls in the blogs I follow, loving themselves no matter what their body mass, giving the middle finger to society and shouting fat girls rock.  Don't get me wrong these same ladies still and always will inspire me and yes I believe girls rock no matter what size you are! But when it comes to me its a different story.

I am 30 years old and I don't feel happy within myself.  I feel at this point in my life I should be loving myself and enjoying life to the fullest.
Some changes need to be made.  The biggest change being my health! I need to feel healthy, I need to be a lot fitter.  My change for 2013 is my diet.
As from tomorrow I am starting my 3 week detox to cleanse my system and then its healthy eating and exercise. You will see a big change in the content of this blog from now on, yes you will get an odd outfit post but mainly they will be more diary like, documenting my progress and struggles. 

Don't get it twisted I am not trying to lose weight to fit society's view of acceptable, I am doing this for ME, to feel better within myself! If I can't love myself, I can't expect anyone to do it for me.
So if this doesn't sound like something that interests you then I say thank you for reading and being a part of my world, no bad feeling! If you decide to stick around then great! I would love it if you did! I still accept words of encouragement lol

I apologise for this post but I didn't wanna make all these changes without saying anything. 2013 is about being honest, so expect a lot of it!!
Wishing all of my readers a great 2013, may all your dreams come true! Thanks for sticking with my sometimes non-existent blog! XOXO

Painted In Black

Like I told you guys before I am having a moment with the colour black! I put this together quickly and I do love the simplicity of it! The black might be on the boring side but I figured the different materials would break it up.

Shirt/Belt -New Look/Dress-South (Very)/Shoes-Very/Necklace-Asos/

I love this shirt, its sheer but not too sheer! I have many outfits in mind for this one! Hope your all enjoying your weekend! Thanks for reading. XOXO

Lipsticks Of The Moment

Hey beautiful people, I hope this post finds you all in good spirits! I am fabulous, only because I am off work for 2 weeks! *happy dance*
So I will try my best to do some more posts during this time, no excuses people! *dust's camera off* I decided I hadn't done a make-up post for a while and decided to show you guys what I am wearing on my lips at the moment.

MAC - TOUCH

 

 

 

I love this colour for a more everyday look, if  I wanna tone down my lips! It's a lustre lipstick which means its creamy and moisturising for the lips.

 

 

MAC - REBEL

 

 

 

 

Who doesn't love this colour! Its so this season! a great bold lip. I usually wear this on a night out.

 

 

MAC - RUBY WOO + ILLAMASQUA LIP LINER "SEVERE"

 

 

 

 

I am in love with this lip liner, it's a shame you cant really see the swatch on my hand but its a deep dark intense red, when I join it with my favourite red "Ruby Woo" its gives it new depths.

 

 

 

ILLAMASQUA- SALACIOUS

 

 

 

This colour was an accident. I originally thought I had purchased a different colour only to find when I got home I had this instead, which only makes me stress to you all to always check your purchases before you leave a store! I have to say this colour has grown on me. This colour is very matte which can be drying on the lips so I slicked some gloss over it!

 

 

So what's your favourite lipstick of the moment? Thanks for reading! XOXO

 





On My Radar

Hello blog land! Yeah its been a while and oh how I missed you. After not having any Internet for nearly 3 weeks, it's nice to be back! I was so lost without the net it makes me wonder what I ever did without it! I did catch up on some books I had been meaning to read so it wasn't all bad.

So it didn't take me long to get into some online shopping and here are a few things that have caught my eye!

DOROTHY PERKINS
(25% off orders until 18th November, enter code DPFWE at checkout)

At the moment as cold as it is I just wanna wear dresses! I've been stocking up on tights in preparation (not that crazy) I forever live in jeans when I am not in my uniform, I guess I am getting a little bored of the jeans and converse combo!

ASOS CURVE

What is it about this season that makes us gravitate towards darker hues?! Yes the colour black is playing a major roll in my life right now! I have always loved black, my mother always told me black was my friend!
My favourite combo at the moment has to be anything with PU detail and faux fur! when it comes to the fur the less the better for me, you won't catch me in a fur coat ( I don't wanna look like some sort of wild beast) but I love when you accessorise with it like the fur collar from Asos (which I already own)

NEW LOOK INSPIRE

I adore the red peplum dress, its so festive, perfect for a Christmas party! Right now I have the shopping bug! I want so much but don't have the funds, plus its not good when your supposed to be buying everybody else presents but you keep buying for yourself instead! Whats you favourite combo at the moment? Thanks for reading! XOXO

Building A Good Foundation-A black Girl Rant!

Hello good people! So this post isn't really your typical blog post but more of a rant about my struggle for the perfect foundation! I have been wearing make up since I was 15 yrs old. I remember stumbling across a compact powder (which had been forgotten about) in my mums things, she was never a big wearer of make up, probably one of the reasons why she never noticed it was gone! To be honest looking back I didn't need it but once trying it and seeing how satin like my face looked I was hooked!
I remember my first purchase was from the brand Sleek. This brand has come a long way since the days I used to use it! I don't use their foundation now and haven't for many years so when I talk of my experience with them bare in mind its from 10yrs ago. At the time they were within my non existent budget (very cheap) I remember it never staying on my skin, you always knew I had been around because of the brown smudge marks everywhere! (embarrassing) plus they didn't cater for people with oily skin like myself.  Anyway at the time I was less fussy and it did the job! I will say this I still use the brand for their lovely vibrant eye shadow palettes!

When I got my first proper job, I decided to up my game and try and find something a little better. I remember walking in to Selfridges and going to the Bobby Brown stand only to be advised that it wasn't the best for people like myself (yes that's what she said) and told me I would be better suited to Iman. So instead of challenging her, me and my naive self found the Iman stand and spent a whole lot of money. I still didn't  find it suitable for me, it was very similar to Fashion Fair (thick and heavy)
Then I read in a magazine about Missy Elliot listing Mac as one of her favourite brands so of course I had to try it and nearly 10 years later I am still wearing it!

OK the reason for this post is simple, its to vent! I guess I always just accepted that I would always be limited when it came to having a large range of cosmetics suited to my dark skin! If I am honest I never really gave it much thought, I was happy with Mac, I never ever wanted to stray from them, I was a loyal customer (still am)
When I visited my family in New Jersey I nearly screamed when I saw (in Macys) Clinique did darker shades in foundation and I knew for a fact that they did not stock any of it in the UK. I saw Queen Latifa doing her thing for Cover Girl (another thing not stocked in the UK) I saw so many brands that I knew catering for us dark sisters but no hook up for us in the UK. But WHY?
When I got back home I did ask these questions to representatives of the company's and nobody had a good enough answer for me!

In the last couple of months I have been noticing brands such as Chanel, Lancome, and now YSL catering for my complexion (about bloody time) So I am interested in trying these brands out but on further investigation I am told I can only purchase the foundation, there is no powder, there is no concealer basically there is none of the other products that I use to compliment my foundation available to me!! Well what the F*!k is the point of bothering!? how can you sell one without the other!? I am then told they are seeing how it sells before they expand! Seriously!? Really!? It's like selling a matching bra set without the bra, having a toothbrush with no toothpaste, having cool aid with no sugar! (OK I think you get the point I am trying to make)

WOW dark skin black girls are like an after thought! If your as dark as Beyonce then lucky you because you are acceptable and the world is your oyster! I just feel like its a big slap in the face personally! I am saddened that in 2012 almost 2013 things haven't progressed as much as they should! How do these brands expect to make any sales if they do things half hearted! As I usually say to the T.F.B, go hard or go home!
Does anyone else feel the same way? Is my argument justified or are you thinking wtf? get a grip! LOL All I can say is  until these brands get their shit together Mac will forever hold the title of Queen and Long Live The Queen!!! Thanks for reading! XOXO

L.B.D Saves The Day

Hello everyone! Hope everyone is enjoying lovely October! Apart from all this rain at the moment I am enjoying hiding covering up under layers of clothes! I can dust of some of my coats in preparation for the big freeze! Can you believe how quick this year has gone! I am already buying my Christmas presents (yes I am that organised!)

On to bigger and better things (me!) So I have been having a shit couple of weeks mainly because it's that time of the month and mother nature has been kicking my ass! Not only do I have hungry belly, I look like I am six months pregnant! (not cool) It was so bad that it made me take a pregnancy test to make sure but lets face it all it did was confirm what I already knew...I am not with child, just fat!! Anyway  please excuse the self loathing (it's just another gift from mother nature) it will pass in good time.
It sucks that you can't control when it comes over you, it was just my luck that I had to try and look cute while feeling like shit! I went out on the town (life goes on) and this is what I wore.

Dress/Necklace-Dorothy Perkins, Shoes-Evans

When nothing else would do the job of hiding my fat belly the peplum on this LBD saved the day, making me feel semi cute, and I mean semi! (self loathing remember) I love anything peplum right now, anything that means I don't have to wear any spanx like contraption (comfort is key!) is all right by me!!

I have been trying to stay away from clothes at the moment, well one of the reasons is to try and save some money but I just don't feel inspired to purchase! I have been shopping for more cosmetics.  I have noticed that a lot of high end brands are starting to dabble in the darker shades of foundation  to suit us chocolaty sisters out here like YSL, Lancome, Chanel e.t.c. I won't harp on about it on this post, I think it deserves a page to itself! (trust I have a lot to say on the matter) If your from the USA and your thinking what the hell I'm talking about, lets just say dark skinned girls in London are not as fortunate as you, I sometimes feel we are an after thought! But if you wanna know more all will be explained in the next post I do! Until then people, stay blessed! Thanks for reading! XOXO